Sunday, August 23, 2015

How instagram ruined a friendship

It was the hashtag ‘cleaninginheels’ that did it. Before it there were the serious selfies, the duckfaces, the pouts and the poses angled just-so, to make sure the maximum shoe/ jewellery/ handbag and label label label was photographed. There had been plenty of eye rolls and furious scrolls past other ridiculous photos and captions, but this one took the cake. Cleaning in heels? Please shut up.

I love the odd selfie. I just love them when they’re at least slightly natural, when you can’t feel through your screen the 50 previous attempts to get the cheekbones chiselled just so, and you aren’t risking chiropractic bills for the awkward lean you’re attempting. I love the odd purchase-brag. Guilty, guilty, guilty. I love sharing, to an extent, and I love that feeling when you see someone else’s purchase and thinking I WANT IT AND I WANT IT NOW! When all of someone’s posts seem to be for the sake of showing how fabulous they want their life to look, it gets old pretty quickly. It’s so forced.

I’m well aware I’m being hypocritical, that this is high school behaviour (if that) and that this is unnecessary drama in my relatively drama-free life. What I think is a ridiculous post, others don’t think twice about. People want different outcomes from their social media posts, have different agendas, and that’s none of my business. I have the choice to unfollow, or to keep reading and watching, knowing I’m setting myself up for a reaction. But what if the person is a friend? Not a random fashion blogger that wouldn’t notice one follower drop from their thousands, but someone you used to see often enough, and someone who in real life always comments on your instagram posts (despite never liking them, I checked).

When you know the ins and outs of someone’s personal situation, as much as it’s possible to in this oversharing time, and the life they are currating on social media is a long, long way from the truth, what do you do? Do you go along with the cheerleading ‘you look so skinny!’ ‘I’m so jealous of your life!’ ‘your house is amazeballs!’ that is so common for friends and mere acquaintances? Do you call them out? Or do you do what I did, and just try and ignore it, to prevent your eyeballs popping out when you see yet another post aimed at generating said cheers?

The outcome for me was that they blocked me. Maybe for not commenting, maybe for ignoring. Well, I can only assume that’s the reason I was blocked, as we haven’t had an actual personal interaction in weeks. Nothing else has changed. I clearly wasn’t supporting the life she wants people to think she has, or maybe it’s because I know she doesn’t have it. Whatever the reason, it’s been a relief to not have to dread what I’ll see on her feeds. At least it’s sort of come to a head, and I can stop wasting so much time thinking about what to do. Insert motivational quote here. #blessed #winning #amazeballs

1 comment:

  1. bahahaha I recently 'unfollowed' a friend on IG (this person is a real, use to be quite close friend) because I got sick of her cleavage/duck face selfies...this person is 32. I would still catch up with her and have no hard feelings against her but I felt like the life she was presenting on IG was making me think less of her (eg these attention seeking selfies), and I didn't want to feel that way about a friend so I thought best I unfollow. I doubt she will notice as she has like 900, 1000 followers but if she ever did I'd just claim ignorance (eg how did that happen I thought I was following you, hmm that's weird?)



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