It's a grey Sunday afternoon here in Sydney and I'm feeling very content but can't help a bit of sentimentality. My new slow cooker is full, there are friands in the oven and, by some miracle, almost dry washing on the line.
But there is a new something, someone else here, and he is making this Sunday afternoon feel a whole lot better than they have recently.
Pascal is home. He is a chunky, brindle, white chinned, cuddle fiend, sweetheart of a puppy. He is so sleepy, so easy going, so puppy like, I keep having to remind myself he is here. I just cannot help but compare him to Marcel. I said I wouldn't but it's impossible not to. On the car ride home yesterday I saw him yawn for the first time. Something so innocent, but it got me. It wasn't Marcel's yawn. It was so, so different. Pascal straight away started licking my face. It's hard to keep crying when a little love machine is smothering you in doggy kisses. It was like he knew and he was telling me it was ok to love him, ok to let go. If I had kept up the comparisons to Marcel they'd ever end. A friend came over to meet him today and she started too. But also quickly realised how futile it was. Everything about him is different. Pascal is not Marcel. He deserves his own love and to get to be his gorgeous puppy self.
He is ridiculously cute. So much so he looks fake. Mr C was holding him this morning and it looked like he was holding a teddy. He has melted my heart, how could he not?
For long time I felt like not much happened in my world. After cruising through life for the past few years, the last few months have been full on, have more than made up for it. I've been on a big overseas trip that was all planned in a rush by me, lost a job, been head hunted, started a massive new role, been interstate five times in a month, renovated a (still unfinished) bathroom, had my floor wrecked (again), this time in the storms. And I've been going out A LOT. I just didn't have a reason not to.
Life feels different. So many new beginnings, so much to look forward to. And so much to remember.