Wednesday, January 14, 2015

On marriage advice

I'm sitting in my Brisbane hotel room, trying to muster the courage to return to the 7500% humidity outside to go for dinner. I've got a gross snotty, sore throated cold which is self inflicted from my big weekend, in which I had a friend's birthday. It was the best night, I'm still smiling thinking about it. It completely refreshed me, I laughed SO much. After various Oxford St establishments, said birthday ended up at Arq. It was a big night. Judge away... 
What's this got to do with marriage advice you ask? Well being in Brisbane today has been a great break from my work colleagues who have been giving me so much crap about my weekend. Because I'm married, I shouldn't be out with other men. Because I'm over whatever age is acceptable to be out on Oxford St on a Saturday night. Because a picture was posted to Facebook of me being kissed on the cheek by a hot guy. 
Leaving aside the fact that no matter how much I adore these men, they will never be interested in me, I just don't get it. I encourage Mr B to spend time without me, and in return I'd expect any hesitation from him if I said I was going out. He was umming and ahhing about coming, but in the end decided I'd have a lot more fun without him. He was right. He's not a dancer, he loves my friends but is more than happy to leave me to our debauchery, and will be there for me the next day when I whinge about my sore feet and whatever else hurts. We went out for dinner and then he dropped me off for the birthday. 
I am well aware that I am bloody lucky and not everyone has that trust. But because I have it, I'd never do anything to jeopardise it. I told my husband everything that happened on Saturday night (and Sunday morning...) he thought it was all hilarious and kept asking me to go on. If he wasn't horrified, why should anyone else be? 
Also, even though I'm away for less than 48 hours, I miss my husband. Is that weird, for a couple who have been together for 10 years? I don't know but I think it's surely a positive thing. When Marcel died I had a little niggle in the back of my mind that our marriage wouldn't be as great. Surely the loss of the best thing in our lives would have to have to have a negative impact on us? But it hasn't. At all. If anything we are stronger than ever. We have helped each other through the shit. My mum did say to me to be kind to each other. I didn't know exactly what she meant by that but it's so easy to take the shit stuff out on your partner. We haven't and I'm really proud of that. 

4 comments:

  1. Who wouldn't miss their favourite person!?! It's been nearly 12 years for us and sometimes i miss wb just when i'm at work for the day {other times, not so much, ha!}

    It's great to have interests outside of each other, you can't live your whole life in each others pockets, it'd be super cramped in their and you'd never get to wear cute skirts cause no one would see your legs. Do what's right/works for you, who cares what everyone else thinks, I certainly don't!

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  2. Love this post. I'm also one for going out and having fun without your other half. You need to be able to be yourself independent from your relationship. Couples who do everything together scare me - do they know who each of them are, or do they only know themselves as part of a bigger whole?

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  3. Great post!! Your relationship w/ your husband sounds a little like the one b/w me and my husband: I like to go out w/ friends (extrovert) while he likes to do his own thing from time to time and reflect on what's going on (introvert). Go you! And poo to the other people! Pretty rude of them to be 'teasing' you or basically making you feel isolated.

    Deb (voguette)

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  4. Totally agree! Great post :)

    Also who are those couples who say they never fight, yeah right!

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