It could be the predicted hot wind and 39 degrees in Sydney today but god I am restless. Cannot sit still at work, concentration is shot.
It probably isn’t though, this feeling has been building for some weeks now. at first I thought it was just post- holiday blues, but weeks back now and it’s not getting any better. Three weeks in Byron Bay, coupled with finally hitting my 10 year anniversary at work has done nothing for my motivation levels.
We’ve thought about buying a new place, moving somewhere new, but where to? I love where I live, am spoilt with a beautiful location and a home I adore, so it would take a lot to improve on that. I go through phases, whims where I think Darlinghurst is the place, then Potts Point is it. They fade pretty quickly, these whims.
Travel would be awesome, my feet are getting itchy. All that’s stopping me is Marcel. People laugh and roll their eyes, but I genuinely cannot imagine leaving him. No matter where or who with we leave him, that’s not the issue. I miss him when I’m at work, I don’t think I’d be enjoying myself too much in say South America if I was pining for my dog. Judge away, I probably deserve it.
My heart is not in it at work. At all. Everything seems too hard, people too frustrating to deal with. Again my problem (if that’s what I’d call it) is that I’m spoilt. I’m paid pretty well, have a work car, don’t work long hours, can work from home when I can, don’t have a boss in the same state to have any idea what I’m doing. So despite my heart being nowhere near in it, my motivation to do anything about it is lacking. And what to do? Where to go? What do I want to do? Something nagging in the back of my mind asks about the possibility of becoming pregnant, and what that would be like if I was somewhere new. Strange as I have no intention of doing that. Virgo brain in mega overdrive?